He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
