Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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