no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
