dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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