Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
