just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
