Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
