zippers are such a cool invention
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
