I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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