I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think weed is turning my hair brown
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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