man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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