You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
