scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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