I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
