Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
