YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
