just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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