you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
