I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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