Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Two words: nipple clamps
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