did you get engaged???
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
