I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize