I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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