I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
there is puke in my bra ... again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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