Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
