writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
