Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
