Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
