I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
