um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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