Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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