nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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