Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
