I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
