I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize