i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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