Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize