i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
