Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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