An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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