Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize