pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
