Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
