Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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