after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
