Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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