sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
