I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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