great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
