took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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