I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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