I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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