Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
