Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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