we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Too much gin, very little bucket
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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